No Regrets

Ahhh it feels so good to change into some comfy clothes and sit down and relax! I know it isn't even Thanksgiving yet, and I have a rule about not doing anything Christmas-y until afterwards, but I just couldn't resist. I just got done watching a Christmas film, and boy oh boy did it get me into the Christmas spirit! It's hard not to be when the whole town has been decorated since before Halloween, and when you walk into a store and hear Christmas music playing. Have I ever mentioned how much I absolutely LOVE Christmas?? ;) This year however, it is kind of bittersweet. Every time I think about going home and not coming back my stomach drops. I can't believe I only have a little over a month left in England. It's so crazy to think how not too long ago I was at home in anticipation of this adventure, and being all nervous, and now I feel like I really belong. 

So much has happened in the past few months, I really cannot believe it. In short, studying abroad has been the most wonderful experience and the best decision I have ever made. I've learned so much about different cultures, and countries from all the different people I've met, and I've made some truly great friends. That's what depresses me the most. Thinking about leaving them behind. I know there are ways of communicating long distances, but it just won't be the same and it makes me really sad thinking about them being here together without me. It's so weird to think that we didn't even know each other a little over two months ago, and now we're like family. I never would have thought It possible to become so close with people in such a short amount of time. Especially since I am extremely shy. I also can't stop thinking about how truly dull my life is going to seem when I get back compared to living here. I can't imagine not having those moments where everyone is trying to imitate each other's accents and we all just end up in fits of laughter. Or not hearing "Do you get this in America?" and having a big discussion of the different food we have and the different names we use for things. It's going to be so strange being in a place where almost everyone is American. I've gotten to that point where I'll be walking down the street and hear an American accent and actually get startled by it. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to being home for Christmas and seeing my family again (They're actually coming to visit this weekend!), and I am extremely grateful and feel so blessed to have had this experience. Every time I think about how lucky I've been, I can't stop smiling. Looking back on this summer and my preparations for this trip, I had pretty high expectations, but there was always that nagging feeling saying "what if it turns out to be a big mistake?". I remember sitting on the airplane talking to the guy seated next to me and seeing the look of shock on his face when he found out that a) I was staying until December, and b) that I had never been here before. That was the first time that I actually had some doubts about the whole thing. I looked out the airplane window and it suddenly became so real. Now I can honestly say that there is not one thing I would change about this entire experience. I'm actually having a hard time putting my thoughts into words right now, because I can't even describe how I'm feeling. So sorry if this is becoming really rambly and seems to be going nowhere. I sat down not really knowing what I would write, and this is what came out. But hey, that's what blogging is all about right? 

So anyway, I hope that you can find something to be truly happy about that puts a smile on your face and gives you some great memories! I am in no way an overly adventurous person. In fact, when most people found out that I was going overseas by myself without knowing a single person, they were shocked. That being said, I am extremely happy that I stuck with my decision, made an effort (trust me, all the paperwork, meetings, and financial stuff I had to do beforehand was no cakewalk. They didn't exactly make it easy.) and took the plunge. Sometimes, you just have to take a chance and trust yourself. 

Keep smiling,